Category Archives: Investing

Key Points of a Divorce that Everyone should know

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It is our goal to provide each client with education and empower them to integrate finances into their lives so that they can support their wishes now and for the future. We should all know the financial impact behind our decisions before making our choices. Couples can find that finances along with shared future goals can empower and strengthen their relationship but at times, future goals are no longer aligned, and couples choose to go their separate ways.

A divorce is a legal process to address the separation of two lives in an orderly and legal manner and allow each adult to move forward in their new lives. In California, it doesn’t matter if this is a traditional marriage or a domestic partnership nor does it matter if it is with same or opposite sex partners.

Over the years I’ve attended many divorce financial planning events and, last weekend one that was particularly good, so I thought I’d share what these professionals said about the next most important step after deciding to divorce.1

My goal below is to educate everyone and is not intended only for those considering a divorce.

What needs to happen to obtain a divorce?

A divorce is granted either by an agreement generated by a judge or one generated by negotiation— or usually both. A divorce judgment is a legal document that declares that the marriage (or domestic partnership) is dissolved and typically includes an agreement on income, debt, assets, and parenting responsibilities. To receive a divorce judgment requires that a petition be filed, a declaration of disclosure, and then wait 6 months plus a day. [Keep in mind that the professionals, at this event1, were all talking about California which is a “no-fault state.” In California it doesn’t matter who serves the divorce petition but in other states the process can be significantly different.]

In the divorce process there is a great deal of paperwork particularly around finances and parenting that is easier to assemble if you have a non-adversarial approach. For finances there is a requirement to file Declarations of Disclosure (initial & final) which includes income & expenses, assets & liabilities (emphasis on all assets), and income tax returns.

How can you go about obtaining a divorce?

  • DIY – Do It Yourself divorce. This process has the fewest fees and couples retain most of the control, but it does require agreement on the process and terms. Together you must cover the legal, financial, and emotional conversations in a respectful and non-threatening manner.
    We recommend that, at minimum, you have an attorney review your agreement before submitting it to the court. The costs will be limited to a filing fee and payment for the attorney and any other professional(s).
  • Traditional divorce, where the decision is ultimately made by a judge, takes control out of your hands. Instead, the judge will apply the law to determine your rights, responsibilities, and entitlements in what is an adversarial platform. This process is the most familiar, most expensive, and often most aggravating. The courts are swamped with cases, so this approach takes the longest to complete. The judge, moreover, doesn’t know you and will, nevertheless, pass judgments that will be binding. The law defines your rights, and the court can compel a party to adhere to the terms regardless of fairness.
  • Mediation is the polar opposite of the traditional divorce. It is a facilitated process to help the divorcing individuals come to an agreement using neutral professionals. In this process it is important to hire a mediator who knows family law and is not adversarial in nature. This private and voluntary process will require conversations and thinking outside the box so as to deliver an outcome that is acceptable to both. The intent is for an agreement that will last, take shorter time and be less expensive than traditional divorce, BUT equally binding. We find this process requires compromise and a willingness to reach a settlement. The challenges for this type of divorce are that each person MUST be able to remain civil and even friendly during mediation since both will need to compromise. This process is, therefore, not appropriate when there is a coercive, substance abusing or violent relationship. Unlike the traditional process you can’t force anyone to keep to their process or make decisions but once an agreement is signed and approved by the court then it is enforceable.
  • Collaborative process. Collaborative divorce is similar to mediation but is structured so that decisions are made together with a team of legal, financial, and mental health professionals on both sides that follow the same ‘collaborative’ approach. The goal of this process goes beyond the agreement and is particularly important for those who have children or will need to interact with each other for a period of time after the divorce (such as for co-parenting tasks that can last the life of the children). The process often results in private confidential and controlled agreements, but it can be very expensive since all the professionals concerned must be experienced and trained in the collaborative process, which is not the usual adversarial legal system. Although it can be the most expensive, the process may yield a more workable outcome. Like mediation, a collaborative divorce doesn’t work for anyone experiencing violence, coercion, or substance abuse.

Divorce is a dramatic change and is often accompanied by conflicting emotions of grief, anger, fear, and anxiety. It is therefore very difficult to make complex decisions during these emotionally intense periods. We have to acknowledge that humans are wired to perceive and respond to danger/fear with an automatic survival response which is the opposite of calm thoughtful thinking. The goal is to generate a calm and thoughtful environment. It is, therefore, particularly important to ensure that the behaviors, words, and actions be those you would find acceptable in the long-term, particularly in front of children. If children are involved, you must also follow Standard Family Law Restraining Orders.

What is AIKAPA’s Role?

We are not divorce professionals. Our role is to provide each of our clients with support regarding their finances by generating needed documents and answering specific questions. For some, this can be done by giving us permission to discuss your finances with your divorce professionals and for others it is done by answering questions posed by each client in individual or in joint conversations. When requested, we also create new financial plans for each client so that they can visualize their finances in the future. In Domestic Partnership dissolution we must also consider federal and state rules that will allow for the same outcome as is experienced for those in traditional marriages.

As a fiduciary, AIKAPA, must respond to both parties openly and completely.

We will not execute financial transactions without approval from both clients once we are aware that you’ve decided to divorce. We work to provide the necessary supporting financial materials in a balanced, sensitive, and factual manner.

Since we understand that a financial agreement in a divorce is a very personal and emotional document, we do not participate in creating the agreement with our clients. We encourage our clients to work together and ask us questions or hire individual divorce professionals to ensure that your agreement represents your wishes today and in the future.

Once there is a joint agreement and a court divorce judgment, we are tasked to ensure that the family portfolio assets are split as indicated in the agreement/court decision.

AIKAPA is here to support the family in each financial decision, but the choices and preferred actions rest with the family.

1Much of the content for this article was from a presentation by Collaborative Practices California – Collaborative Divorce North Bay. If you request it, we can share notes with you or you can join one of their Saturday morning webinars on this topic.

Edi Alvarez, CFP®
BS, BEd, MS

www.aikapa.com

Silicon Valley Bank (SVB) failure and the FDIC

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As many of you are aware, the FDIC placed a California bank (SVB) under receivership. The FDIC took this action to protect depositors in the face of unsustainable withdrawals (a “run on the bank”). SVB is a regional bank best known for supporting new venture businesses (in technology and biotechnology) and with assets worldwide. An additional small regional bank located in New York (Signature Bank or SBNY) was also placed into FDIC receivership just two days later.

What happened? SVB sold assets (long term bonds) at a significant loss just to cover deposit outflows which triggered more outflows.

What impact does an FDIC takeover have on your deposited money? None, if the account is FDIC insured and the balance is under $250K, though there may be a delay to access this cash. This is why we recommend that you retain an emergency account in an FDIC savings account at a separate bank.

In this case, the Federal government also stepped in and guaranteed all deposits to ensure accounts were made whole. The timing was particularly important since mid-month liquidity was needed to make business payroll and loan payments. Except in the Venture Capital space, SVB and SBNY are not household names, so why was prompt action required? The concern was that fear would spread to other institutions even though most other financial institutions are well capitalized, highly liquid, diversified, and risk compliant. In fact, we did see contagion to banks like First Republic Bank (FRB—which, incidentally, is popular with several of our clients) which had to obtain additional liquidity from the Federal Reserve and JP Morgan. In our view this failure was isolated and is nothing like the 2008 bank crisis. It was a result of regulatory exemptions (approved by the US Senate which was extensively lobbied by the CEO of SVB) and poor Risk Management at SVB.

As a consequence, the regulatory environment will likely tighten for regional banks and the Federal government will expect a fixed Balance Sheet within a year. In the meantime, the Justice Department has already launched an inquiry into the collapse of SVB and the actions of its executives who sold bank shares just prior to the collapse.

What long-term and short-term impact will this collapse have on your portfolio? We do not expect any long-term negative effects. In the short-term, we are expecting more volatility and a delayed recovery for technology, financial services, and fixed income sectors. It is also worth noting that this crisis affords a long-term opportunity to buy into this downturn ahead of the recovery.

Edi Alvarez, CFP®
BS, BEd, MS

www.aikapa.com

Family Loans

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Lending money to family is often intended to be a gift of love and to provide assistance, but it is also rife with perils, for both the lender and the borrower.  It goes without saying that lending money should only be considered when permitted by your financial plan. In other words, don’t give money away at the expense of your future cash flow.

If all goes well, the loan will be repaid in a timely manner and will be a win-win for the lender and the borrower. In our experience, this is not usually the case.

In fact, most family loans are forgiven and often turn into gifts. In some cases, family discord and financial stress derail the family relationship when the borrower is unable to repay, and the lender needs the funds for their financial well-being. At other times the loan repayment is not the issue, but other squabbles (like unequal lending to family members) arise which can cause defaults and family resentments.

Lending money to a family member in exchange for a promissory note must follow IRS rules. The IRS requirements are clear, the loan must charge a minimum interest rate, must document transactions, and require repayments. If it is instead a gift (no repayment expected), then it must be stated as such and recorded for gift tax purposes (and may require filing an IRS Gift Tax Form).

The recent highly publicized case of Bank of America independent director David Yost’s daughter’s divorce is an appropriate example. Yost appears to have made $8M in loans to the couple years earlier and on divorce demanded repayment from his soon to be ex-son-in-law. The ex- claimed they were not loans but gifts that Yost made to appear as loans to evade taxes. This landed both families in court with suits on both sides and the IRS watching from the sideline.

It is common for highly affluent families to make private loans with assets they do not need in their retirement. It is particularly beneficial when loans are used to purchase assets for the next generation without tax liability and to simultaneously reduce the size of the lender’s estate while avoiding future estate taxes (currently, this estate tax reduction strategy is relevant for families with estates greater than $12M).

My concern over family loans arise when the financial plan doesn’t comfortably cover the loan and yet the lender feels emotionally inclined to make the loan despite the projected shortfall in future cash flow. I find that lenders who are family members do not recognize that despite best intentions the possibility exists that the money will not be repaid, and money not market invested is missing out on gain that will be needed later in retirement. In addition, most are not aware that without proper documentation the IRS can label this transaction as a tax avoidance technique.

Edi Alvarez, CFP®
BS, BEd, MS

www.aikapa.com

Manipulative Investment Products:  Politics and Emotion

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The investment world frequently capitalizes on emotions by creating products (funds) that cater to the latest fads or emotionally charged topic. A recent trend has been to create funds that filter companies based on political views.

A recently concocted fund demonstrates this trend precisely. The adviser ostensibly boycotts certain companies in the S&P 500 perceived to be too liberal and calls it a new fund. The fund’s very name is designed to excite and exploit political passions, irrespective of what the client might need in their portfolio. In addition, defining one company as “left-leaning” or another as being “more Conservative” is not only arbitrary in practice, but also contrary to the entire idea of diversification, and the “rational investor.” The marketing pitch captures people who believe that filtering using personal conservative ideals, beliefs, and values will yield needed market returns while investing in companies they think fit with their political beliefs. This is not likely to have the expected outcome since markets seldom behave how we want or expect them. They are encouraged to invest dollars without regard to capital market behavior or diversification. Amazingly they do claim to be ‘diversified’ and not to compromise performance without much history.

Whether “pro Right” or “pro Left”, I consider this trend more insidious than other marketing techniques because it encourages investors to use politics and emotions to select investments for a retirement portfolio. Retirement portfolio allocation shouldn’t be derailed by fads or emotions but capture gains when others react emotionally.

Edi Alvarez, CFP®
BS, BEd, MS

www.aikapa.com

Market Volatility – Panic has a Price

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Market volatility is part of the deal when investing for the long-term. Currently, some of the volatility is due to inflation and the invasion of Ukraine but most of the volatility is from fear of the unknown (by market participants). We’ve had many periods that generated panic and each time an emotional reaction or seeking ‘safety’ had a price.

Since 1960, the markets have dropped more than 30% during seven crises.

Instead of seeking ‘safety’ during a crisis, we encourage you to let us do what we do best and make the most of these crises and instead focus on things that you directly control.  The best way to handle market volatility is to have a plan in place and let it be executed without ‘fear’.

So, what should you do during periods of volatility?

  1. Take care of your health by not over focusing on media hype – crises are a bonanza for media outlets. For example, CNN searches were up from 89% to 193% during March of 2020. ‘Googling’ trending topics only makes us more anxious. Online searches will not guide you to how your portfolio and your finances should be managed to get you to your goals.
  2. Do not check your portfolio every day but do evaluate your anxiety level – if you find that you are overly anxious then we need to re-examine your asset allocation once the market recovers. Keep in mind that unless you depend on the portfolio for cash support, what happens in the market today is not relevant.
  3. Monitor your cash flow – ensure that you have the cash flow you need and that you have the necessary emergency fund.
  4. If you have a long-term horizon (meaning that you are not planning to draw from your portfolio over the next 3 years) then view the volatility as dips that we will use to reallocate your portfolio.
  5. If you depend on the portfolio for ongoing cash flow and we developed a distribution plan for you then you have a withdrawal plan for the next 3-5 years regardless of the market dip. Stay within planned spending.

I don’t deny that there is good reason to be anxious about the war in Ukraine and the impact it will have on our lives and the economy. Even so, this is not the time to decide that you want to make your portfolio ‘safer’. ‘Safer’ often means going to cash or bonds but the time to move to cash is when markets are doing well not during a crisis. During a crisis the ideal action is to use cash to buy positions that will benefit your portfolio in the long-term even if they underperform in the short-term.

The graph below illustrates how a hypothetical “fearful” investor, who chose safety during market downturns of 30%, missed gains time and time again during market recoveries. This investor traded long-term results for short-term comfort likely because the constant drumbeat of negative news made it difficult to stay true to the investment plan.

But how about market timing? Research shows that market timing strategies do not work well for individual investors. Dalbar’s Quantitative Analysis of Investor Behavior measured the effects of individual investors moving into and out of mutual funds. They found that the average individual investor returns are less—in many cases, much less—than market indices return held through the crisis.

But how about, “it is different this time”? Of course, each crisis is different BUT the US has experienced 26 bear markets since 1929 and the markets recovered all 26 times though some took a long period of time to recover. The key to market recovery is that businesses must continue to make profits.
If you find that you are overly anxious about your portfolio, then record this in your Aikapa folder and let us seriously address your portfolio allocation and the tradeoff to your long-term goals once the market has recovered.

If you find you have unexpected/unplanned cash flow needs from your portfolio, then let’s talk about it and find ways to provide what you need today minimizing damage to your long-term plans.

Edi Alvarez, CFP®
BS, BEd, MS

www.aikapa.com

Student Government Loan Repayments to Restart in May

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The Department of Education has announced that it will restart student loan payments that were frozen at the start of the pandemic. This was intended to allow for increased cash flow and savings during the pandemic. So far, it does NOT appear that the government will create new student loan forgiveness programs. If you were able to save over the last two years, then let’s review if paying down your student loans is the best use of your additional savings.

Action for those with a federal government student loan:

  1. Review the terms and balance of your loan.
  2. Make sure that you understand if it falls under any of the existing (and not yet honored) forgiveness programs.
  3. Log on and update your contact information.
  4. Determine your new payment amount and if you can consider paying it earlier. We recommend that you start paying it sooner than May if your cash flow allows so that you lower the loan before May, but this may not be ideal for all.Let us know and we can go over your specific situation.
  5. If the loan repayment amount doesn’t work within your current budget, then let’s work on a different solution before the May due date.
  6. Don’t count on blanket loan forgiveness – although it may arrive, it is not likely – the current government goal appears to be focused on fulfilling existing forgiveness programs not creating new ones.
  7. Check with us BEFORE you accept loan forgiveness offers – they may not be legit – anyone offering that they can easily forgive your student loan without details should be suspect.

Finally, when working online to obtain information on your student loans (or other financial transactions) please err on the side of caution and check with us and your CPA to ensure that you avoid scammers. They get more sophisticated each day.

Edi Alvarez, CFP®
BS, BEd, MS

www.aikapa.com

Gamification of Trading

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The suicide of a 20-year-old experimenting with trading on the Robinhood platform
has many calling for new regulations on trading. I think new regulations on the “Robo”
interfaces are required but not on trading. Robo platforms, like Robinhood, provide a
software interface that makes trading more like a game.

Brokerage firms have been on a serious race to engage directly with the young and the
inexperienced. Robinhood, E-Trade, TD Ameritrade, Charles Schwab, Interactive
Brokers, Fidelity, Merrill Lynch, and many others have all embraced commission-free
and zero-minimum balance trading on platforms that focus only on the upside
of trading. These platforms are more reminiscent of an animated game than a
serious financial transaction. Even those who have managed to make a little money on
day trading often fail to understand that there are tax consequences. They usually
reach out for assistance when they receive from these brokerage firms an unexpected
1099 with a large tax liability.

It is clear that what we need is more clarity on what is a game and what has real life
consequences.

Edi Alvarez, CFP®
BS, BEd, MS

www.aikapa.com

Your Portfolio Allocation and Emotional Reactions: The Coronavirus and Portfolio Discipline

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Here we go again – we’ve been down a similar road before, so none of this is news to those who have been with us through prior overreactions by market participants.

Volatility is part and parcel of participating in the market. When fear grips the market, selloffs by those who react to that fear provide portfolio opportunities for those who understand and adhere to a strategy. It is AIKAPA’s strategy to maintain your risk allocation and either ride out the volatile times or rebalance into them. Meaning that if you don’t need cash in the short-term, we buy when everyone else is selling.

As news of the Coronavirus (or other events outside of our control) stokes fear and uncertainty on a variety of fronts, it is only natural to wonder if we should make adjustments to your portfolio. If you are reacting to fear, then the answer is a resounding NO. On the other hand, if you are applying our strategy in combination with an understanding of the impact on business, then the answer is likely YES. When an adjustment is indicated we look for value and BUY while selling positions that are relatively over-valued. If the market continues to respond fearfully (without a change in value) then we will likely continue to buy equities and may sell bonds to fund those purchases. The only caveats to this strategy are that we must know that you don’t have short-term cash flow needs, that we stay within your risk tolerance, and that we are buying based on current value (keep in mind that value is based on facts not fear).

If you feel compelled to do something, then consider the following:

  1. Contact your mortgage broker and see if it makes sense to refinance (likely rates will drop soon after a significant market decline).
  2. Seriously examine the impact this has on your life today and let’s talk about changing your allocation once markets recover.
  3. Review the money you’ve set aside for emergencies and prepare for potential disruptions if these are likely.
  4. Business owners should consider the impact (if any) on their business, vendors and employees. Particularly important will be to maintain communication with all stake holders and retain a good cash flow to sustain the business if there is a possibility of disruptions.
  5. Regarding your portfolio, if you have cash/savings that you want to invest, this is a good time to transfer it to your account and have us buy into the market decline.

Market changes are a normal part of investing. Risk and return are linked. To earn the higher returns offered by investing in stocks, it is necessary to accept investment risk, which manifests itself through stock price volatility. Large downturns are a common feature of the stock market. Despite these downturns the stock market does tend to trend upwards over the long-term, driven by economics, inflation, and corporate profit growth. To earn the attractive long-term returns offered by stock market investing, one must stay invested for the long-term and resist the urge to jump in and out of the market. It has been proven many times that we can’t time stock market behavior consistently and must instead maintain portfolio discipline (if you want a historical overview of markets, see the “Market Uncertainty and You” video on our website www.aikapa.com/education.htm).

It is your long-term goals and risk tolerance that provide us with our guide to rebalancing and adjusting your portfolio, not short-term political, economic or market emotional reactions. In your globally diversified portfolio, we will take every opportunity to rebalance and capture value during portfolio gyrations. This IS the benefit of diversification and working with AIKAPA.

Edi Alvarez, CFP®
BS, BEd, MS

www.aikapa.com

Cyber-crime, Phishing, Robocalls, and Wanting to do Good

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Almost every day there is an article in the news about financial fraud. Much of it impacts seniors, like the telephone scam now doing the rounds that has fraudsters posing as Social Security representatives. However, we are all at risk, especially if we believe we are too young, too smart and too vigilant to fall for a scam. Sadly, scam artists are very sophisticated, intelligent, and focused so that they’ve become experts at separating people from their money. Only last month, “Shark Tank” magnate, Barbara Corcoran, was tricked out of nearly $400,000 through an email phishing scam in which fraudsters convincingly posed as her assistant.

A lot of financial fraud targets seniors or those in high pressure situations because cognitive agility decreases as we age or when we are stressed. Furthermore, seniors who live alone are particularly vulnerable.

Here are several things you can do to protect yourself and loved ones from financial fraud:

  1. Simplify your financial life. One of the best things you can do to reduce the chances you’ll be taken advantage of is to reduce the number of accounts you have and the number of financial institutions you work with. Fraudsters are experts at catching people off guard, posing as others and making their prying questions sound both reasonable and plausible. Make it a habit not to respond to phone calls regarding finances unless you know the person at the other end and never trust emails involving finances without first verifying the source.
  2. Limit access to and block large transactions. The first step in preventing fraud is to limit the money that can be easily accessed by not keeping large sums in checking accounts. Keep large accounts with a separate institution so that it takes a day or two to make a transfer. Next, if your bank allows it, set alerts for large transactions or block transactions over a certain size. Always use a credit card for online purchases since they give you the ability to reject a charge, while your debit card will automatically pay from your account.
  3. Always use maximum security on email accounts that you use for financial communications. We’ve seen most cyber fraud through yahoo.com and gmail.com accounts prior to the additional security currently available.
  4. For large transfers, particularly during hectic times, involve a trusted financial partner and NEVER accept changes to the receiving account and contact over email (or a call from someone you don’t know). It is better to halt the process entirely or at least confirm with a known financial entity than to change course midstream during a cash transfer. Most of the successful fraudulent transfers have been during escrow for a new house purchase or sale. The methods used are creative and ever improving.
  5. Families should plan their spending ahead and NOT respond to charitable requests on the fly. It is not unusual for seniors to receive many robocalls and mail requests from real charitable organizations because they know that seniors want to do good. It is not unusual for seniors to spend more on charitable donations made ad hoc than was planned. Make a point never to donate based on a phone call or last-minute request at a checkout unless that is part of your charitable plan for the year. I recommend families sit together and come up with an annual plan for charitable donations. When charitable opportunities present themselves defer them for review at your next family charitable giving gathering.
  6. For seniors or those facing high stress situations, you may want a backup notification sent to your spouse, financial caretaker, or a trusted person for high value transfers. If your bank does not provide for such alerts, then make it a standard practice never to make high value transfers without extensive planning and verification.
  7. For seniors, it’s important to have a potential financial surrogate in place long in advance of cognitive decline. Identify a trusted family member or friend or trusted professional to be your financial caretaker and start conversations long before you feel you need to turn over your finances. Consider providing view-only access to a trusted person so that they can help you monitor your account activity and be notified of large transactions and suspicious activity. It is a good idea to involve them with your tax preparation and filings as well.
  8. Due to the number of data breaches in recent years (that have exposed thousands of people’s Social Security numbers and other sensitive data), it has become increasingly possible for fraudsters to open accounts in another person’s name. On a regular basis, personally monitor your credit history with all three major credit agencies for new activity that you didn’t initiate.
  9. I’m personally uncomfortable with ongoing Credit Freezes unless you can monitor and implement them yourself at minimal cost and without involving a third party. Using a credit monitoring service is not recommended since you are involving an unregulated third party and, in any case, will only alert you after you’ve been victimized. The recommended approach when this happens is to freeze your credit at all 3 major credit agencies. Keep in mind that though this is often recommended by cybersecurity experts it can become a major hassle for you. Freezing your credit can be an issue for you if a company needs to legitimately verify a transaction with your credit history (this is the case for some insurance and bank transactions). Unfortunately, freezing your credit is sometimes the only way to prevent attempts to open a new account in your name, and maybe the preferred or only option for seniors.

Financial fraud is rampant. However, with a bit of preparation, a support system, and communication, you can significantly reduce the odds that it happens to you and your love ones.

Edi Alvarez, CFP®
BS, BEd, MS

www.aikapa.com

Death and sepulcher – facing the inevitable

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Benjamin Franklin famously wrote, “in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” In all the years that I’ve worked with clients to create a financial path for their long-term wishes in life and after they are gone, I’ve covered a huge spectrum of topics. Until now, I’ve never asked clients about their “right of sepulcher” (the right of sepulcher means the right to choose and control the burial, cremation, or other final disposition of a deceased person). I recognize that, for some, this topic may seem a tad morbid. The cautionary tales of contentious and messy celebrity funerals that follow (suggested by Amy F. Altman, an associate at Meltzer, Lippe, Goldstein and Breitstone) may provide you with some perspective and may help you consider how you and your loved ones feel about your right of sepulcher.

  • Litigation surrounding the 2007 death of actor, model and TV personality Anna Nicole Smith made headline news for weeks as her mother and the guardian of her infant daughter battled for the right of sepulcher. Ultimately, the daughter’s guardian prevailed and Anna was buried in the Bahamas next to her late (and recently deceased) son.
  • Boston Red Sox Hall of Famer Ted Williams’ death in 2002 resulted in a spectacular rift between his children over the disposition of his remains. His eldest daughter argued that Williams’ will clearly stipulated cremation, BUT his son had been given power of attorney and his father’s health proxy and he wanted his father cryogenically preserved. Eventually, the son won out, largely because the daughter could not afford the cost of litigation.
  • Legendary actor Mickey Rooney died in 2014. His estranged wife wanted him buried in a shared plot purchased before they had separated. Rooney’s conservator (court appointed guardian) had other ideas and a costly tug-of-war ensued. In the end, his wife capitulated, recognizing that burial in a Hollywood cemetery befitting Rooney’s status was appropriate.

These cases, regardless of age, underscore the importance and value of discussing with loved ones your preferences for disposition. The laws regarding rights of sepulcher vary widely by state. If permitted under state law, completing a “disposition of remains form” together with advanced directives seems an appropriate start. This will create clarity with respect to the sensitive issues surrounding burial.

As with all legal documents you need to first understand what it is that you really want, which can take a long time to fully grasp and may require delicate discussions with loved ones and personal introspection. Leaving aside what I consider the more important question regarding life support for now, you can first deal with the question, do you want to be cremated, or perhaps cryogenically preserved? Do you want to be an organ donor? Would you like your funeral to take place at home or at a funeral parlor? Do you want a formal service or commemorative event? Though you’ll be gone, these are all options that may well prove to be important (and costly if mishandled) to those you leave behind.

At times, I think that there is so much to do while we are alive that taking time to consider what will happen after we’re gone seems inconsequential and entirely unimportant, but this may not be the case for loved ones. Let me offer an example.

Recently, a client shared that over the course of a dinner conversation with his parents they casually revealed their preference to be cremated. This came as an enormous shock. “Never in a million years,” he said, “would I have predicted that this was my parents actual wish.” This is a man who has made every effort to ensure he is in touch with the real wishes of his aging parents. “I would have got it wrong,” he said, adding “a split second’s worth of conversation set me straight.” He felt like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders.

The person to whom you give the right of sepulcher may gain much by having even a short conversation about your wishes, regardless of your age.

Edi Alvarez, CFP®
BS, BEd, MS

www.aikapa.com